That Other Fellow

Don Barrett

Doesn't it seem that many people are operating from a "me first, me only" point of view. This sounds obvious and over-simple but it helps explain why so many encounters or conversations are less than satisfying. Especially now, at Thanksgiving, and during the Christmas holidays people are dragged into unpleasant gatherings and forced visits with others. While there is much good enjoyment found in these times of renewed acquaintance there is also much resentment, competition, and rivalry. We are often left to deal with the memory of the tacky remark, the vicious cut, or malicious gossip about a third party. Sometimes we feel as though we have been run over by a truck just because we have been "straightened out" every time we ventured a comment. Sometimes we are never allowed an opportunity to comment at all!

Do you sometimes feel like you were "dumped on" or "threw up on"? Are you left feeling that your thoughts, feelings, and opinions have been deemed worthless while you were expected to properly appreciate and admire the thoughts, feelings, and opinions of the other guy?

Those that disappoint us in these matters seem incredibly selfish and self-centered. They apparently have no smallest suspicion that their listener might have a need to be listened to. They leave us behind in their dust of self-absorption and conceit. We are no more than a sounding board used and discarded along the way. They love to hear the sound of their own voices.

But is this not a true reflection of the conflict of the natural man vs. the Spirit of GOD within the Christian? The natural man is consumed with self. His only concern is to fulfill his needs and desires. In this he demonstrates how little removed he is from the animals for, without GOD, he is little more than an animal himself.

The Christian is motivated by the Spirit to love his neighbor as himself, to do unto others as he would have others to do unto him, to fulfill the needs of the other guy first, to care about someone else rather than self.

Those who are centered on self are to be pitied. They are so crippled by their needs that they think of no one else. They are so blinded by their point of view that they see nothing else. They are so busy having all the answers that they miss the real questions.

To add to this calamity is the realization that Christians are far from exempt in this failing. It should be no surprise that the heathen will be self-centered. He is operating from the basis with which nature has equipped him. He is taking care of Number One and is not programmed to care for the other fellow. Only the care of the parents for their offspring stands as an exception to the rule.

But a Christian has been born again and not of this world but of the Spirit of GOD. It is that Spirit that causes us to be a new creature in Christ. What is the character of that Spirit? It is the same character that caused GOD to give his only begotten Son to redeem a self-centered mankind. How can a person that claims to have the Spirit of GOD within him be self-centered, uncaring, and callused toward others?

JESUS said that the greatest commandment, the very greatest of the entire Old Testament word of GOD, was this; "You shall love the LORD your GOD with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might." He went on to say, "And the second greatest commandment is, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'" He did not say that you should take care of Number One and leave the other fellow in your dust. He did not say that self was all-important. May the LORD help us when "Christians" miss this point. And we have all missed this point at one time or another.

It is absolutely sad to have our eyes opened to this truth, to begin to perceive the true nature of our disappointments in dealing with others, especially our brothers and sisters in Christ. How sad JESUS must have been as he traveled the land, constantly besieged by those that had no concern except for themselves.

Consider the ten that had leprosy (Luke 17:11-19). All ten were cleansed. Their needs were fulfilled beyond their wildest hopes. But as soon as the terrible stigma of leprosy was lifted from them they immediately focused on their next wish. Having been given a new lease on life, they were intent upon reclaiming their lost status in the Jewish society. For nine of the ten they did not even look back to say, "Thank you!" And the one that did come back to thank JESUS was a Samaritan, one that would still be considered "unclean" even after being healed of his leprous condition.

Or consider the multitude that JESUS fed with the five loaves and two small fish (John 6:1-15, 22-27). How thrilled they were to have their hunger appeased in so miraculous a fashion! What excitement they experienced to think that they had found a man that could produce food in abundance and was willing to freely give it to those that followed him. With great enthusiasm they pursued him across the lake. But JESUS knew their selfish hearts and said to them, "I tell you the truth, you are looking for me, not because you saw miraculous signs but because you ate the loaves and had your fill." Even though they had recognized that he was the Messiah, still they were motivated to pursue him by selfish desires.

But there are examples of people who were not motivated by selfish desires. How delighted he must have been when the harlot came and bowed before him and washed his feet with tears of gratitude! (Luke 7:36-47) Not because it honored him so much as because it was an act of giving to, of caring for, of loving someone other than self.

As a role model JESUS stands supreme. He was ever giving, never seeking to please himself. His first concern was to do the will of the Father, not his own. His second concern was to give to others, to fulfill their needs, and to leave them better than he found them. His ministry was to teach his followers to walk in his footsteps. JESUS said, "I am the way and the truth and the life." (John 14:6)

I urge you to examine yourself to see if the Master's example has found a home in your heart. As you go about your daily routine listen to others with this question in mind, "What are your needs?"

When confronted by self-centered people, ask JESUS what your response should be. Put away your selfish concerns, put the other fellow first. Do as JESUS did, care about the other person. In this you will find GOD'S approval.

Keep the fellowship pure,

Don B.