The Person in
the Pulpit
“Tongue Control”
Bite your tongue….when necessary! (we
should all do so when necessary)
Judi Barrett
We are going to be looking at the
person in the pulpit – one trait at a time.
None of us are perfect, period.
There are areas that all of us can, and need, to improve. Hopefully each and every one of us is
allowing the HOLY SPIRIT to do His work in us in the areas that need it. I pray
that these articles will lead each of us to examine ourselves.
We were once
in a church where the pastor did not have tongue control, nor did his
wife. They could not keep a
confidence. Now it’s important that
people be able to confide in you if you are their friend, mother, sister,
brother, etc., but it is imperative that people be able to confide in you if
you are a Christian, end of story. If you are a pastor, counselor, or teacher,
there is not even any need to tell you of the necessity of keeping your mouth
shut!
More than one person went to this
pastor (We’ll call him Bro. Bob for the sake of discussion here) with a problem
and it didn’t stay with Bro. Bob, so the one with the problem just developed a
bigger problem. Not only does he have the original problem but now he has to
deal with gossip being spread by his pastor.
In a particular case that I am knowledgeable about, a man (We’ll call
him Bro. Hal) in
Bro. Bob’s flock called Bro. Bob and requested a confidential meeting. They met and
discussed a spiritual issue. Bob
and Hal parted company on excellent terms in agreement on the issue. Bro. Bob then told his wife about the meeting
and discussion. Within 24 hours confidence was broken.
Bro. Bob’s wife spread rumors about Bro. Hal and his wife through
the church and even to people outside the church. In fact, the things that she told were
twisted and untruthful. Bro. Hal and his wife quietly left the church. They considered their options and taking everything
into consideration decided that leaving was the only appropriate
response. They wanted to remain in
control of their own tongues. Only two
people bothered to ask that couple why they left the church, but that’s another
topic for another day. People such as
this pastor and his wife do not need to be in positions of leadership within a
church and especially as pastors.
James said it well, “Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my
brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is
never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole
body in check.” (James 3:1-2 NIV)
James is saying here that a greater
responsibility rests on teachers (of whom he considered himself to be one) to
control his/her tongue. What is the main
tool that a teacher uses to teach? The tongue. The mouth. The spoken word. That
instrument that has been dedicated to the LORD for His use should not be found
wagging about, causing hurt.
Now let’s take a look at some of
Paul’s words in Ephesians. Chapter 4,
verses 11-13.
It was
he who (Christ Jesus) gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets,
some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people
for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach
unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature,
attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. (NIV)
Paul is saying that the apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors and
teachers are supposed to help Christians grow up in Christ, help them mature
spiritually. Their job is to help
prepare God’s people to work for the LORD, to be of service to the
You cannot teach what you do not have. .
Words without example are empty words.
It is not a matter of do what I say and forget what I do. It is a matter of do what I say and do. If you consider yourself to be a leader in
God’s church, then think about the example that you are setting for those that
you lead. Again, it is imperative that a
leader in the church be a mature Christian.
He/she should be an exhorter, well grounded in God’s word, discreet and
diplomatic to help promote unity in Jesus’ church.
A little further down in that same chapter, Paul writes:
EPH 4:29 Do not let
any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for
building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who
listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed
for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger,
brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and
compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God
forgave you.(NIV)
OK, NO unwholesome talk. What is
unwholesome talk? Is what comes out of
our mouth building others up? Is it
benefiting them? “…but only what is
helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those
who listen.” If our speech is not
helpful for building others up according
to their needs, it is unwholesome.
If it does not benefit those who listen, it is
unwholesome. If it is unwholesome, we
are not to let it come out of our mouths.
Bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander are warning signs of a
hidden agenda. You may ask yourself,
“What is this person trying to accomplish here? Is it what they say it is? Do words and actions match?”
What comes out of the mouth of the person in the pulpit should build
others up. The pastor is the shepherd of
his flock, he is to be concerned for his people. He is to lead them in worshipping God. Worship that is not tied to loving God’s
people is not worship and does not please God.
1JN
Using our mouth to do harm to our brothers and sisters is NOT
demonstrating love toward them. Jesus
taught that the world would know that we are His by our love for one
another. So what does the world think
when they encounter a Christian with a loose tongue, especially leaders in
Jesus’ church? John said that we lie if
we say that we love God whom we have not seen and do not love each other whom we have seen. It
is a disgrace to pretend to be a Christian and then treat God’s children as if
they are unimportant to us or to their Father in heaven. Saying you love God
without loving His other children is an example of empty words, worshiping God
with lips while the heart is far from Him.
Folks, it’s not just gossip that shouldn’t come out of our leaders
mouths, but there should be NO obscenity, NO foolish talk, NO coarse
joking. Read with me:
EPH 5:3 But among you
there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity,
or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. 4 Nor should
there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but
rather thanksgiving. 5 For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or
greedy person--such a man is an idolater--has any inheritance in the
“Nor should there be obscenity,
foolish talk, or coarse joking.” These
things are out of place in the Christian’s mouth. We just read where Paul
warned against "unwholesome talk" (Eph
Ever had a Christian tell you a Jesus joke or an obscene joke? Or maybe it wasn’t obscene, just coarse? Ever had that happen from the pulpit? Do not be deceived!! Do not be partners with such people. If we tolerate this behavior, we will be
identified with it. It will hurt our
witness of Jesus to an unsaved world and hurt our reputation to the rest of the
saved community. If this is happening in
your church, you have a problem!
IICor 12:20 For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I
want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there
may be quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions, slander, gossip,
arrogance and disorder. 21 I am afraid that when I come again my God will
humble me before you, and I will be grieved over many who have sinned earlier
and have not repented of the impurity, sexual sin and debauchery in which they
have indulged. (NIV)
The above scripture obviously speaks
to tongue control with quarreling, outbursts of anger, slander, and
gossip. But you know…the other things
that are mentioned can also be demonstrated with our tongues: jealousy, factions, arrogance, and disorder
are all definitely related to control of that body member. We are not to have these things in our lives.
There are other scriptures that also
speak to these problems but to avoid redundancy, I will not list them. I do leave you with one last scripture though
that bears thinking about:
JAS 1:26
If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his
tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.(NIV)
God’s word lays it out, now it’s up
to us to live it and insist that our church leaders live it also. ~~~~
